Exploring Resentment

Resentment ties us to something- it is a form of emotional, mental and spiritual bondage. When we feel stuck in a cycle of resentment, we can ask ourselves, what else would we have to let go of along with the resentment that is causing us so much toxic stress. Sometimes we have held onto a feeling for so long we cannot imagine what would replace it. Who and how would we be in the world and in relationship if we let go of that resentful feeling? Perhaps there would be unspeakable loss, perhaps a vulnerability that we do not feel safe in exposing to the world or even ourselves, perhaps we would be letting go of a belief or a way of seeing ourselves.

The resentment may be serving as a dam that holds back a flood of other emotions or truths we have been avoiding. What might holding tight to resentment be keeping us from experiencing? We may have to be responsible and accountable to things we had not considered. We would most certainly have to move on, as resentment tends to keep us stuck. What would it be like not to feel that way anymore? Often it is difficult to let go of old resentments because the act of doing so includes the need to forgive ourselves as well. The places where we left our own sacred "post", collapsed and sacrificed something of great value in the hopes that we might receive some human need, to be seen, to be admired, loved, or in hopes we might experience a deeper intimacy.

Perhaps we have a deep seated unconscious belief that we sold out in some way and holding on to the resentment is a means of defending against that or having that happen again. Working on self compassion, and trusting ourselves is helpful to the healing process . Resentments can be created from a sense of having been stripped of our power- what area of our life do we need to be accountable to and empower ourselves? We can investigate where there may have been a need to draw a line or boundary we may have missed? Having the courage to dig deep into our darkest corners to see what else is keeping company with our resentment can give us answers that help clear the path forward. Resentment is a poison not only to ourselves but it grows into contempt and contempt is a dark and ruinous growth to relationships. It keeps us isolated and cut off from our heart and it's ability to heal through love, compassion and forgiveness.